The Basics of EQ

EQ, otherwise known as Emotional Intelligence, has received a lot of attention over the last few years. I am certainly no expert on the subject, but I thought it was interesting enough to spend a little time getting a better understanding of what it is (beyond our required QDM FLC courses) and its importance in developing leadership qualities.

By definition, “EQ is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal(s).”1

I found a quote from an unlikely source during my Google exploration on the subject. It was from comedian Craig Ferguson. During an interview he said, "You know, before you say anything, you have to ask yourself three questions: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? And does this need to be said by me now?" Frankly, that quote blew me away! It is wonderful.

Have you ever been in a meeting or training class and there was this one person who just HAD to say something…anything, all of the time? How did that make you feel? Some people get annoyed, some seem to want to escalate and it becomes a competition and some, like myself, tend to shut down and stop participating at all.

(Of course, a good facilitator can spot this trend and take appropriate steps to reduce the disruption.)

I think well-honed emotional intelligence can also help build your personal brand. Your business skills are one component of your brand, but I believe that emotional intelligence is the anchor that holds it all together. Building a positive image beyond your fantastic work skills will set you apart as a great leader.

According to Lynn Taylor, a well-recognized career expert/author, there are five subtle things that you can develop to build a positive image and build your emotional intelligence.

First, keep your word. The old adage, “It is better to over-deliver than over-promise”, goes a long way in developing your reputation as a person of integrity. In my opinion, integrity is one of the most important assets a person can possess.

Second, learn great communication skills. Taylor says, “The way we interact and speak with others greatly affects your image.” We have all had the experience of having a conversation with someone who just did not seem to be paying attention or were easily distracted. How did that make you feel? There are so many great training courses, coaches and opportunities to improve your communication skills that I strongly encourage you to take advantage of them. Most of them are not expensive. I have recently stumbled upon Udemy. Udemy is a website that contains so much good material for self-improvement that you really should check it out.

Third key point is how you dress. I know, that may seem lame to some, but the old saying, “dress for the position you want to achieve”, is still a solid piece of advice. Also, a person who is well put together inspires confidence in others. That does not mean a suit and tie or expensive dress every day. It means aim to be well groomed with nice accessories.

Fourth is develop your network. Yes, this will take some effort and may put some of you out of your comfort zone. Introverts may not be comfortable attending functions where they don’t know a lot of people. I understand, but making the effort can really pay off. Most professional groups have monthly meetings that are open to both members and non-members. PMI and ASQ are just two examples where you can attend a dinner meeting, meet some local process improvement professionals and learn some new things as well. I highly encourage stepping out of your usual circle of work friends as it will help you to be a more well-rounded individual.

Finally, be authentic. Let people know the real you. If you try to be “fake”, people have an innate “Spidey” sense and it will be off-putting. Nothing will ruin your personal brand faster than not being authentic.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed. I believe that a strong EQ capability can help define you as a good leader and help to build that brand you want to be known for.

Dear readers, I would love for you to send me any questions you may have or suggestions for future blog topics. Anything goes J Until next time!

1. Colman, Andrew (2008). A Dictionary of Psychology (3 ed.). Oxford University Press. ISBN 9780199534067.